Removing Negative People From Your Life
This morning I really want to focus on the topic of learning to remove negativity from your life. One thing I have come to realize is that no matter what the situation or who the person, there will always exist some sort of negativity in your life. Now when I say negativity I’m mainly referring to a negative person who will make every attempt to get in the way of your life goals and dreams. We all have them lingering around in our circle, some we recognize, others are very sneaky with their discouragement towards us.
Maybe it’s a friend, family member, spouse, teacher, child, co-worker or even a boss but whoever it is, this person in your life is more than likely unhappy with the choices they have made, are lacking self confidence or could even harbor some jealously over your bold thoughts and ideas and seek to burn your dreams like a pile of trash.
Have you ever noticed that when you come to this person with exciting news or a great idea they seem to have nothing positive to say but have tons of things to point out that start to make your idea seem like a bad one? The truth is these people may really only want to be around you to make themselves look better and whenever you try to aim higher, it rattles them to their very core!
When I decided to start my very first website a while back, some people whom I considered close "friends" did their very best to discourage me, belittle my idea or convince me that it was a waste of time. Other people in my life said I would give up after a while and tried to “reminded” me of my “proven” track record of quitting everything I ever started (not true), but that wasn’t even the worst of it, some people didn’t even bother to read what I wrote but had plenty of negative things to say! If I had listened to them, I’d never do anything in my life and to be honest, that's probably what they want. except then they would talk about how I never do anything, it's a no win situation!
So you’re probably wondering how to deal with these kinds of people?
What’s really important to understand here is that you have to be willing to “check your sources”. What do I mean by this? Well, consider the person who is discouraging you and killing your dreams. What have they done in their own lives? Are they just doing what everyone tells them to do but never really living their own dreams out? Are they scared to step out on the edge of life and take the big steps that might seem shaky and unsteady at first?
It took me a long to time to realize that some people, even those who love me and seem to be looking out for my best interest don’t always know what is best for me personally, how could they?! I remember literally sitting down and evaluating these people and I remember how it felt when I started to see them for what they really were, wet blankets who wanted to dampen my passion for life. Some I completely removed from my life, others I just placed in a different position and I started taking what they said as grain of salt, which to be honest is really all it amounted to.
We are only given one life and the choices and decisions we make with it are what we and we alone have to live with, not these people who are so quick to tell you what they think of your goals. Nope... it is us who have to live with the path you make and take during your life!
I remember one afternoon talking with a very nice lady who told me how she got married very young, had children and never lived her dream of going to school and starting a career. Every time she brought up the idea to her husband, he told her that she wouldn’t have time to care for the kids or that she wouldn’t have time to study and her grades would drop so she just sort of assumed he was right and went about her daily life as a housewife, then 22 years later he left her for his business partner. It was then that she realized her whole life was lived the way he wanted and besides her precious children, she had nothing to show for her 46 years on earth. Two weeks later she enrolled in classes and at age 51 she received her degree. She told me that the day she sat in her first lecture was also the day she decided to never, ever let anyone have the opportunity to kill her dreams, she whet on to get her Doctorate. She talked about her regrets of waiting so long and of never really even trying because she believed her husband knew what was best but then realizing that he was really afraid of letting her fly and find her true potential in life. Those we love sometimes harm us and they may not be doing it intentionally but if we continue to allow them, we are just as guilty!
It’s important to make attempts to spend less time with those negative people. But you ask, “what if that’s not really possible, what if you see this person every day?” Well how about just tuning them out, or hearing what they have to say, thanking them and then just tossing their opinions in your mental recycle bin, how will they ever know?! I’ve also found it helpful to not discuss my plans with certain people who like to rain on my parade because then they can’t say anything at all! Another idea is to find people who will encourage you, who understand you and want to help! Believe me they are out there, if not personally around you, you can find them online or in other communities or groups.
You can do anything you put your mind to but if you let others put their minds to it, ten years from now you’ll still be doing the same thing you are doing today! It’s your life, learn how to live it!
This is where I will provide personal challenges to each of you that will encourage and inspire you to consider new possibilities in your lives, to look at things through new eyes and with fresh perspectives. We often times get so caught up in looking at every situation the same way and we may not ever realize it. The best part is you can change your outlook thus creating new alternatives and inevitably redirecting the outcome of the situation.
We can’t ever give up, we are worth so much more than that and I truly believe that every person was put here with and for a certain purpose in life. If you’re one of those people who would have just flipped to that last chapter and given up then now is the time to awaken your soul!